My Cancer

Just found this amazing quote which sums me up completely (and probably most other ultra runners I know):

‘Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go …’ T.S. ELIOT

For other inspirational stuff see this page.

On the album by My Chemical Romance entitled The Black Parade there's a song called 'Cancer'. The lyrics are:

If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my Aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors
My sisters and my brothers still
I will not kiss you

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you

Now turn away
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body
Oh my agony
Know that I will never marry
Baby I'm just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go

It just ain't living and I just hope you know

That if you say
Goodbye today
I'd ask you to be true
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you

copyright: BLOW THE DOORS OFF THE JERSEY SHORE MUSIC, INC

Now, the sentiment of this song was definitely not what I was going through in the 1980s when I had testicular cancer then lung cancer. No doubt some people do feel like that but I felt more like the words of the Deep Purple song 'When a Blind Man Cries':

If you're leaving, close the door.
I'm not expecting people anymore.
Hear me grieving, I'm lying on the floor.
Whether I'm drunk or dead I really ain't too sure.
I'm a blind man, I'm a blind man and my world is pale.
When a blind man cries, lord, you know there ain't no sadder tale.

Had a friend once in a room.
Had a good time but it ended much too soon.
In a cold month in that room.
We found a reason for the things we had to do.

I'm a blind man, I'm a blind man, now my room is cold.
When a blind man cries, lord, you know he feels it from his soul.

copyright: HEC Music

As the lyricist, Ian Gillan, recounts "this was the story of an uncomplaining blind person who was used to dealing with the crappy hand he'd been dealt in life. When a blind man cries it really has to be something serious."

Of the five other people I know who've had cancer, I'd like to think that at least three of them feel the same way. Or maybe I'm just strange ...